Elimination Diet: My First Food-Based Nightmare

I have really strange sleep behavior. I've been known to call people from my sleep, to wake T or my various roommates up in the middle of the night and sleep-talk to them (my mother does the same thing, apparently), and to have some of the strangest dreams ever.

I have at least one weird dream a night. I'm not talking weird like you're naked in front of your high school biology class weird. I'm talking dreams where I have huge lumps on my legs and my stepdad offers to cure them by peeling back my skin and applying an animal stew remedy made exclusively of roadkilled skunks. I mean, who dreams that?

A lot of the time, the things and people I think, talk, or stress about right before I fall asleep are featured prominently in my dreams. So, given the care with which I've been planning my meals, I guess it was only a matter of time before the elimination diet showed up dans mes rêves, right?

Last night I dreamed that I was at my friend M's house (the same friend who forced me to brake my no sweets Lent pledge), and that I couldn't stop eating foods that are prohibited on the elimination diet. Like potatoes. I kept boiling and then sautéing potatoes and eating them right out of the pan with celery salt.

And then I helped M make this really giant and grotesque batch of chocolate chip cookies, and put water into the eggs for some reason. M put the cookies into the oven all stacked on top of each other, and I became really upset that she was going to ruin them. And then I ate a lot of the cookies.

The last part of the dream I remember involved me, back in my own kitchen, holding a bag of bulghur and crying that I had thrown away all of my hard work just for some potatoes and some cookies.

Who am I?